woods, meadows, dragonflies

I stumbled through the woods looking for my old camp site (circa 1986) on the Goddard College campus, and saw I was on the right track when I found this foot bridge.



Here's the path cutting through the camp site. It leads down to the Winooski River, so I'm not surprised it's still there. 



And this is a path that used to be a road that ran parallel to the campus, leading out to the library, etc. Still used, just not maintained for non-foot traffic.

Not pictured here - the meadow and the dragonfly. I took a lot of pictures of the meadow and the dragonfly, but the meadow pics were all flat and not soft and vetch-filled feeling like I actually experienced the place. And the dragonfly? I also tried many times to photograph it, but no dice. Either it was moving too fast, it was a figment of my imagination, or maybe some happy combination of both! I saw a dragonfly close up hanging onto my shorts, that were drying on the line, earlier this summer. They are so much bigger that I realized! The one I saw yesterday was just huge, maybe 8-10 inches long. Figment or no, I am riveted when I see them.

Listening to Grief and Praise

I've been studying Martin Prechtel's work this summer.

Right now I'm listening to a talk he gave sometime in the past decade titled "Grief and Praise".
So beautiful.

Earlier in the month I sent a request to Martin Prechtel's place in New Mexico http://floweringmountain.com/ for a couple of books - Long Life, Honey in the Heart & The Disabedience of the Daughter of the Sun and a tape and CD of the Grief and Praise talk.

About three weeks ago I called first and asked for both books and the tape and CD and a few days later I sent a request by mail asking for one of the books and the tape & CD, because I was impatient and went downtown and bought one of the books here. Also, I was nervous about e-mailing my debit card information, so I mailed a check. Then I e-mailed a few days ago because it was getting late and I hadn't heard anything and no books. Today I got both books, the tape & CD. The books are signed by Martin and he says beautiful things in both these books - I just cried when I read these things he wrote himself for me, even though he doesn't know me at all.

Besides that I've been moodling around out here in the world and the internet, facebook, making a few new friends and re-connecting with old friends and in a case or two repairing (or something) friendships I thought were broken forever.

It's been good and finally we've got some summer weather - over 80 degrees and the sun shining and I think it didn't rain yesterday. Pretty OK.

a walk in the park

Hubbard Park, to be precise. Beautiful and quiet. And I think I will be visiting again soon.

Here's a friend who joined me on the walk. I took this picture kind of sideways, not knowing exactly what I was snapping before the shutter clicked. I like it. (Edited to add 2nd photo and commentary 10/4/09

sand dollar beauty

Thanks to Will Cook for providing this image on his web site carolinanature.com

For a few weeks now I've been wandering around with an image in my mind of a sand dollar skeleton - a white disk with a star shape in the middle and little slots around the perimeter. Tonight I looked around the internet and quickly found three images; two of skeletons and this. I had never seen a live one, as pictured above, never mind with such gorgeous colors. I'm besotted.

Now that I have seen it I can't stop looking at it and I've made it the desktop on my computer screen.

Oh yeah, and I just got a big table for my studio, so I hope that'll help move things along there.

More about this and other developments soon.

a good night's work

Thanks to Amy for asking if I wanted to go out to draw and Gina for the new pencils and sketchbook. I LOVE TO DRAW PEOPLE SO MUCH! What a gas.

Edited 1/7/09: Oh, yeah, I did these drawings at the Langdon Street Cafe, of high school students and their mentors performing poetry and music wonderfully together.

existential questions and Curtis Savard photographs

Curtis Savard took a bunch of photographs at Fort Can Gallery during the reception a few weeks ago. I've been chilling out, so am just getting around to posting about them now. But I have to say I love them. This one, above, is of my friend Amy and me in the gallery, mural of kissing couple in the background, portraits and other artwork in the foreground.



And this is a section of wall that includes the poster for the show, an abstract drawing a number of people particularly liked, and another view of the group portrait of Brian, Tara & Kelly. Can you read the writing? It says, in large letters "Is it too much?" and then in smaller lettering below, "Is it enough?" - questions I ask myself all the time. 

gallery time/portraiture

I spent the day at Fort Can Gallery & Studios, drawing people and enjoying being immersed in art making. Last Saturday I drew four portraits: Karen (above), Cora, Gladys & Duffy. I hadn't arranged to draw Duffy ahead of time, but it worked out well, as the person I had planned on drawing didn't show. Today I had three subjects: Sarah, Rhoda and Harrison. Sarah brought her sweet dog, who I didn't know how to fit in the drawing. Rhoda was a gas and I started two drawings before I settled on one that I liked well enough to finish. I did Harrison in crayon and it came out OK, except his mouth looked like someone else. Thursday morning I started painting and drawing on the walls of the gallery. That's where the image from the "kinda spicy" post came from. After a week of feeling shy about having this gallery space, I found I needed to splash some color around. Once I got started I didn't want to stop, although I only had about an hour. But I got far enough that I came straight over after work on Thursday night, and worked through past midnight. I had a blast. Brian Ziegler, one of the studio renters, was there most of the evening and was very supportive and helpful. I haven't worked on one art object for more than an hour or two in years and years. I just love being able to do it. The only problem I was having was a certain stiffness in one of the figures (of the kissing couple). I found hundreds of kissing couples to study online, sketched a couple for reference, and went back Friday morning to loosen things up a bit. It worked like a charm and I'm pretty happy with the result. I may work on the painting more...I'm not sure. But since it's on the wall, and it will have to be painted over, I may stop where it is now and move back to more portable media. We'll see how it goes. I still have one wall I haven't done anything with yet, except write the words "I don't know", "I don't know, either" (which I erased) and then on the other end of the wall "is it too much?". Before any of these statements I wrote the question "Why" on the opposite wall. I love writing & drawing on walls. I've been doing it since I was maybe three or four years old, when my Dad repainted the upstairs hallway and I couldn't resist applying my crayons to the freshly painted surfaces. Oh, I love making art. I really do.

Crazy

Last Saturday evening I went to a production (one woman play) called "Crazy" by Gail Marlene Schwartz up at the Vermont College Chapel. Third Story Window is the name of Gail's community based art/performance company. Very Cool. VSA Arts of Vermont was the producer for the 5 performances in Vermont, the one in Montpelier being the last of them.

I'm so glad I went! Gail's story, which is autobiographical, centers on her experience of the 18 therapists she's seen since she was 5 1/2 years old. It's a great story and afterwards there was a panel discussion with local providers, consumers, advocates and some combination of all three and the audience, and Gail, the actor/writer. It was a great experience, and instead of re-writing all about it I'm going to re-print the evaluation/testimonial here.

Initially I scribbled some notes to myself and wasn't sure if I was going to send Gail or the producers my feedback, but after a couple of encouraging e-mails from Gail I decided to go ahead.

Although I've never been diagnosed as "clinically" one thing or another I've never felt "normal" either. Not coincidentally this was also my mother's approach to being pinned down mental-health wise, in large part because once one is diagnosed it is on one's permanent health record...or something like that.

So seeing someone explore their life-long relationship with the therapeutic process with humor and panashe and so fearlessly, despite interruptions indicating the contrary (see answer #2 below), well, it was just great! At some point I will post a response to the questions of Jewish and Crazy that Gail posted about recently. In the meantime, I think this is plenty to read about right here.


1. If you were telling a friend what you appreciated about this presentation (show), what would you say?

I liked the story, the method of story telling (not linear!) and detail choices, the set, props and three dimensionality of the stage (riding bike onto stage, using props handed up and thrown back from front row, etc) and the intelligence and wit.

2.What moment/s stood out for you and why?

The "interruptions" of neurotic cleaning during particularly tense or tender moments of the performance, the video of the actor's younger self riding her bicycle near the end of the performance, and the stills of the actor's recent self crying. The cleaning interruptions were so funny and real. The actor used the bike with the banana seat through the whole performance, and spoke beautifully about her experience of learning to ride her bike. As an audience member, when I got to see real footage of her riding her bike, I found it quite moving and saw it as a statement about the actor's resiliency and innate sturdiness in the face of 18 versions of interpreting her "craziness". I was very surprised by the stills of the actor crying, as this is, usually, as emotionally vulnerable as a person can get. I appreciated the actor's inclusion of these stills, but didn't fully appreciate their value until I read the materials afterward and discovered the actor had been photographing herself in high states of emotion to include in future performance pieces.

3. What did not work/what would you change about the presentation and why?

The "Rorschach" test images were invisible from where I was sitting. I felt I was being shown a blank (or almost blank) screen and being asked to interpret nothing; that it was a joke, which was frustrating. At the end of the performance I saw that the images were shown in their original size and shape and were actually out of focus close ups of objects, and the actor's face. I wish the test images were just a little less out of focus, maybe because Rorschach test images are so graphically stark.

4. Were your views about mental health/illness impacted by the presentation? How?

Yes. I felt a surge of positive associations with being on the "crazy" end of the mental health continuum. That is, I identified with the intelligence, wit and vulnerability portrayed by the actor. I'm not crazy about being considered "crazy", but this performance displaced a chunk of the shame associated with it, and I also felt less isolated. Thanks.

5. Would you recommend this program for other communities? Why or why not?

Yes! What's not to like??? Seriously, because it takes issues that might be seen as "mental health" issues and turns them into human issues, which is something everyone can benefit from.

6. Any other comments?

Thanks to the actor for baring her soul, and VSA Vermont for producing the performance, and the Vermont Community Foundation for funding the project! This is important work and should certainly be supported in the future.

7. May we use your comments in future projects?

Yes.

bright cold SPRING!

Look what I got!!! A thank-you post card from Lynda!Barry! I sent her a postcard a few weeks ago telling her how much I love her work and how much I'm looking forward to her next book coming out - scroll down to The Gorgon and feast your eyes. So!Utterly!Cool!



Hey, yeah!

Even the snow seems to know it's spring; when it does snow it's not as deep, thick or persistant as it was a even two weeks ago.

The sun is super bright, although it's been very windy the last few days, but never mind, in another little while I'll be writing about crocuses and robins and then peepers and dragonflies. Just you wait and see.