25th high school reunion coming up

Above is my yearbook picture, circa 1983 (actually, it was taken in the summer of '82...but who am I to quibble?).


And this one's from (I think) winter 1983, mid-way through my senior year.

I've been getting notices regarding my high school reunion. It's pretty unreal that it's been 25 years since I graduated from high school. Equally unreal that it's been 21 years since I graduated from college, but that's probably for another post. 

I didn't like high school, although it was an improvement over middle school. I didn't have many friends among the kids I spent most of the school day with. I was one of the few people in the school who came from someplace else, and one of the few people who immediately left to start a new life as soon as I graduated. People didn't know what to make of me - for which I can't blame them - as I didn't know what to make of me either. I'm still working on that one, actually.

I went to my 10th year reunion. Um, it was interesting, but not something I want to repeat. I will not be going to my 25th, although the pictures I saw posted on the web site for the 20th reunion made me feel tenderly towards those who did attend. They looked so vulnerable. Much more so than I ever saw evidence of in high school. Seeing those pictures made me think there might still, yet, be some friends to make there. But I don't think I'm gonna go.

I posted the two pictures above, plus the two b&w photos here on the home page of the blog, on the "classmates" web site. Very few people from the class of 1983 are posting photos, or information about their lives, or anything else. It could be because the sight only offers these options for a fee. The site managers are hoping I'll forget before the end of the week that I've got a 7 day free trial, but forget it y'all, I've got a reminder right here on my calendar. Classmates dot com is not getting any money from me, no sir.

One thing I'm kind of pleased to realize - I was a lot cuter than I knew at the time. I mean, I was cute (actually, I'm still cute) but didn't really see it.

I'm so grateful for photography, especially family photos. I was talking with my dad last night about the family photographs my grandmother has. She is a meticulous housekeeper and the photographs are in very good shape, although a lot of them from my late grandfather's side of the family are undocumented. But I don't care about that. I started to tell my dad how much I value these photographs and he interrupted to tell me I could have them (when the time came). I was surprised he understood what I meant so well, and cut right through whatever else I was going to say. Anyway, my grandma is very excitable and the last thing I would want is to mention the photographs and her passing on in the same sentence, so I have to give my dad a lot of credit for saving us all from that. So - thanks, Dad.



Here's his high school graduation photo, circa 1960.

wild strawberries

These wild strawberries are just outside my back porch. I am blessed.

grass seed, maps, small towns & big cities

The weather's been pretty sweet. I mean, cool (under 70 most days) and dry (probably too dry).
Today it's raining, which is excellent.

Yesterday I, with help from a friend, moved a bunch of gravel from just beyond my porch into the driveway, so I can have a little piece of earth to wiggle my toes in (on?). Today I bought some grass seed (mostly rye and clover) and spread it over the patch of earth, and then occasionally went out and watched, with great pleasure, the rain soak down on the grass seed. Soon there'll be green shoots sprouting and my toes are wiggling in anticipation.

Earlier today I spent a couple hours mapping my family and childhood homes, schools and places of birth in Philadelphia. I called my Dad to get specifics on addresses. I was only off by one number on the house I spent my first 8 years in (11764 Brandon Rd). I thought it was 11762. My dad said that would have been the Taylor's house...which I would not want, because they had this german shepard named Major who snarled ferociously if anyone got near their front door, which was right next to ours.

I also found out, by asking the name and address of the hospital I was born in, that my older brother and I (we have the same parents), and my three younger half-siblings (same dad, different mom) were all born in the same hospital (Albert Einstein) and delivered by the same doctor. The doctor delivered my older brother in 1964 and my younger half-brother in 1984. Apparently he, the doctor, was the youngest partner in the family practice he belonged to. Go figure. 

I think of Philadelphia as a large city (it is), but relationship-wise it feels like a small town. All five of us siblings being delivered by the same doctor feels so small town-ish. But maybe it's not as unusual as I think?

Don't know, but it's one of the many questions I ask myself as I pour over the map of my home town (which is really a big city).


 

Lynda Barry's "What It Is" available in bookstores NOW!

Hey! Go out and get your copy of What It Is by Lynda Barry, either through your local independent bookseller or via Drawn & Quarterly, Lynda's current (and awesome) publisher.

I've got mine and I'm very very glad.   

It's a combination of autobiographical picture story telling and writing exercises. But this description is an insult to the art of this book.

Go! But It! Now! (Ok, or beg your local library to get a copy as soon as possible (now?))

And now I really have to get outdoors.

Enjoy the day.

 

the skinny on cholesterol

Oh yeah, I said I was going to post on the test results for cholesterol and vitamin D, didn't I?

Strangely, although I gave up some purported cholesterol producing foodstuffs and started eating more purported cholesterol reducing foodstuffs, my overall cholesterol went up between Jan. and April by a sizable chunk. Especially the "bad" kind (LDL). Ftischhhh.

My vitamin D, however, is up in the normal range. Yay!

The result? I'm less likely to be depressed about my health being endangered by the plaque building up in my arteries. Ha, ha, ha.

Seriously, though, I'm gonna try taking Omega-3 fatty acids as a supplement, and see if that helps. But, the thing is, until April my cholesterol has been pretty much the same for the past four or five years. So my feeling is the stress of worrying over the health of my arteries has created more damage than anything else I might be doing. So I've decided to put thoughts of cholesterol back where they belong: in the world of the bean counters.

I'll go outside and "walk briskly", (although I prefer strolling) for half an hour. A half hour is the recommended time frame for this excellent {although frankly silly looking} low maintenance high benefit exercize. Or maybe bicycle down to the co-op or up to the Peace Park (east and west stretches of the bike path, respectively).   

And I'm gonna find another doctor. Somebody who knows how to read their own forms (and send test results to the correct address), tells patients all the tests being performed for them and why, and can remember in a timely manner to give cogent recommendations on the type and amounts of efficatious supplements.

Seems reasonable, I think.

See you later - time to get outside.

signs

line dried candy colored clothing!



my bike - equipped with air in the tires and a new lock.



snow retreating from the back yard...it IS all gone now...this pic was taken a few weeks ago

absorbing and creating

Inspired by the recent American Photobooth book, I'm posting photobooth generated photographs of my Aunt Rose, who was 7 years older than my Mom (who has her own section here), Grandmom Bea & Grandpop Marty. Photos date from early 1930's (when my grandparents first met - when they were in their mid 20's - to the late 1950's - when my mom was a teenager).

short visit to say hi and some recommendations

Hey-ho (as Kermit the Frog would say),

I've been mulling over this and that the last few weeks, plus I still have a cold, which was really hellacious at first, ten days ago, and now just irritating. I tried breaking up with it earlier today (imagine me yelling at it: "It's OVER! Get out of my body, NOW, and take all your snot rags with you!", kicking the waste paper basket across the room for emphasis). We'll see if that has the desired affect.

Meanwhile, I've been visiting some more web sites.

Here's a few I particularly like:

TED: Ideas Worth Spreading

Bizarroblog

Byron Katie's "The Work"

Have fun with these. I'll be back after I change the locks (if I can ever get this darn cold to leave the house).

Full On Spring

It's for real - no turning back; Spring's Here.

West and east views over the Winooski River, respectively.

And a pot of brown rice, because I like the pattern it makes when it's cooked.

Curiosity is keeping this cat alive

I called the doctor's office to find out what would happen to my blood once it was drawn (see previous post on tests below), and how much it would cost.

My blood will be tested for vitamin D levels, and for cholesteral (the good and the bad kinds). It will cost $76.88. $25 for drawing the blood, $51.88 for the lab work.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Tests I didn't know I was taking and other health related costs

So I got my statement from BlueCross BlueShield this morning. Turns out the information I posted recently about the cost of a mammogram is more than twice as high at $312 than the higher end of $150.

Insurance only covers $249.23 of it, but unlike other statements I've received recently the difference is not passed on to me. I guess the radiologist and my doctor eat the difference. Or maybe the $249.23 is how much it really costs and the $312 is what they ask for just in case the insurance company is feeling generous???

Meanwhile, I got a bill from my doctor's office for $14.27, for the lab work on a pregnancy test. (Clearing my throat) I didn't ask for or need a pregnancy test, and this is what I told the doctor, after speaking with the receptionist, who told me to call the insurance company to find out why this wasn't covered with all the other lab work, and the insurance company told me to call the doctor to discuss the (apparent) need for the test by the doctor. Following me so far?

I got a physical examination in January from the nurse practitioner. She included the pregnancy test with all the other lab work, but didn't mention it at the time of the examination.

So I was really surprised when it came up on the bill. I was just lucky when the doctor answered the phone the second time I called the office, after speaking with the insurance company. He said he didn't know why it had been included, and said he could do one of two things; speak with the nurse practitioner about it's inclusion or take the $14.27 off my bill. I said it would be great if he could do both, and he said he would.

Hopefully, case closed. Although I have more lab work scheduled for later this month, with this doctor's office. They want to find out if the vitamin D3 I'm taking is showing up in my blood. Apparently when they tested for this in January my D levels were at 9 (parts per million?). "Normal" is 25-50, so I guess I needed some assistance in the vitamin D department. I've been taking 2000 iu (international units) of Vit. D3 every day since mid January, and made an appointment back then for mid April to find out how things were going.

Now I'm going to call the doctor's office and find out if there's anything else they're going to test for while they're drawing blood. Just, you know, out of curiosity.

Crazy

Last Saturday evening I went to a production (one woman play) called "Crazy" by Gail Marlene Schwartz up at the Vermont College Chapel. Third Story Window is the name of Gail's community based art/performance company. Very Cool. VSA Arts of Vermont was the producer for the 5 performances in Vermont, the one in Montpelier being the last of them.

I'm so glad I went! Gail's story, which is autobiographical, centers on her experience of the 18 therapists she's seen since she was 5 1/2 years old. It's a great story and afterwards there was a panel discussion with local providers, consumers, advocates and some combination of all three and the audience, and Gail, the actor/writer. It was a great experience, and instead of re-writing all about it I'm going to re-print the evaluation/testimonial here.

Initially I scribbled some notes to myself and wasn't sure if I was going to send Gail or the producers my feedback, but after a couple of encouraging e-mails from Gail I decided to go ahead.

Although I've never been diagnosed as "clinically" one thing or another I've never felt "normal" either. Not coincidentally this was also my mother's approach to being pinned down mental-health wise, in large part because once one is diagnosed it is on one's permanent health record...or something like that.

So seeing someone explore their life-long relationship with the therapeutic process with humor and panashe and so fearlessly, despite interruptions indicating the contrary (see answer #2 below), well, it was just great! At some point I will post a response to the questions of Jewish and Crazy that Gail posted about recently. In the meantime, I think this is plenty to read about right here.


1. If you were telling a friend what you appreciated about this presentation (show), what would you say?

I liked the story, the method of story telling (not linear!) and detail choices, the set, props and three dimensionality of the stage (riding bike onto stage, using props handed up and thrown back from front row, etc) and the intelligence and wit.

2.What moment/s stood out for you and why?

The "interruptions" of neurotic cleaning during particularly tense or tender moments of the performance, the video of the actor's younger self riding her bicycle near the end of the performance, and the stills of the actor's recent self crying. The cleaning interruptions were so funny and real. The actor used the bike with the banana seat through the whole performance, and spoke beautifully about her experience of learning to ride her bike. As an audience member, when I got to see real footage of her riding her bike, I found it quite moving and saw it as a statement about the actor's resiliency and innate sturdiness in the face of 18 versions of interpreting her "craziness". I was very surprised by the stills of the actor crying, as this is, usually, as emotionally vulnerable as a person can get. I appreciated the actor's inclusion of these stills, but didn't fully appreciate their value until I read the materials afterward and discovered the actor had been photographing herself in high states of emotion to include in future performance pieces.

3. What did not work/what would you change about the presentation and why?

The "Rorschach" test images were invisible from where I was sitting. I felt I was being shown a blank (or almost blank) screen and being asked to interpret nothing; that it was a joke, which was frustrating. At the end of the performance I saw that the images were shown in their original size and shape and were actually out of focus close ups of objects, and the actor's face. I wish the test images were just a little less out of focus, maybe because Rorschach test images are so graphically stark.

4. Were your views about mental health/illness impacted by the presentation? How?

Yes. I felt a surge of positive associations with being on the "crazy" end of the mental health continuum. That is, I identified with the intelligence, wit and vulnerability portrayed by the actor. I'm not crazy about being considered "crazy", but this performance displaced a chunk of the shame associated with it, and I also felt less isolated. Thanks.

5. Would you recommend this program for other communities? Why or why not?

Yes! What's not to like??? Seriously, because it takes issues that might be seen as "mental health" issues and turns them into human issues, which is something everyone can benefit from.

6. Any other comments?

Thanks to the actor for baring her soul, and VSA Vermont for producing the performance, and the Vermont Community Foundation for funding the project! This is important work and should certainly be supported in the future.

7. May we use your comments in future projects?

Yes.

bright cold SPRING!

Look what I got!!! A thank-you post card from Lynda!Barry! I sent her a postcard a few weeks ago telling her how much I love her work and how much I'm looking forward to her next book coming out - scroll down to The Gorgon and feast your eyes. So!Utterly!Cool!



Hey, yeah!

Even the snow seems to know it's spring; when it does snow it's not as deep, thick or persistant as it was a even two weeks ago.

The sun is super bright, although it's been very windy the last few days, but never mind, in another little while I'll be writing about crocuses and robins and then peepers and dragonflies. Just you wait and see.

still almost spring, but closer

I visited with my friend Amy this afternoon. She's also an artist and we were both drawing while we sipped tea and visited with another friend of Amy's who was new to me. I'm pleased with this drawing. First, because Amy's beauty comes across, although she's a lot more interesting looking in person. Also, with a minimum of effort I got a good resemblance, although I really wanted to capture more of her animation than her repose. This was the fourth or fifth page of drawing I worked on in the couple hours we spent together, so the effortlessness took some effort to get to, but so what? Once again I got to see that the effort to get to that effortless looking place is completely worth it.

P.S. New profile and sidebar photographs courtesy Andrew Kline of After Image Photography

almost spring

We had a big melt yesterday. Here's two views.

early this morning

Last night I dreamed X stopped to talk with me but didn't really want to talk. Was considering not talking with me at all. As X was talking to me (about not talking to me) I could see X didn't have any teeth, that is, the jagged gaps where X's teeth used to be - as if they'd just been pulled, except X's mouth wasn't bloody.

I was thinking about this dream. Feeling bad, feeling I'd been unaccountably rude back some months ago, was it really that long ago?, when I thought what it meant that X didn't have any teeth: X's opinion/words/attitude didn't "have any teeth"; no bite; couldn't hurt me!

I had the most delicious feeling of relief and realized I'd hit on something undeniably true. I just smiled and smiled.



On an entirely different subject, really different, I got my first mammogram this morning.

A few months ago I switched doctors, and they (the doctor and the nurse-practitioner) recommended I get a mammogram, and scheduled the appointment for me at the local hospital. I'm forty-two, and since my family doesn't have a history of breast cancer it's ok I waited this long. But now, probably, I'm going to get one every year. Not that anything is wrong, but I want to know about it as soon as possible if anything does go wrong in the future. It's helpful that the health insurance I have covers one mammogram per year. I don't know how much it costs out of pocket, but probably more than I can afford...then again, maybe I can. I just looked it up and apparently it can cost between $50 - $150. Not anywhere near as bad as I thought. I was feeling pretty good about the insurance company covering it, but now I realize it's not much skin off their noses. Dang. Why they cover mammograms and not any kind of bloodwork that indicates other kind of preventable diseases, is a mystery (except bloodwork, as a preventative tool, is probably more expensive...and more frequently used than mammograms). Sigh. Whatever.

So I went up to the hospital at 7:45am, so I could be 30 minutes early for my 8:30am appointment. After checking in I ran into a woman I know, who was on her way out. Without thinking I said "how are you?" and got an iffy reply. She'd just gotten a mammogram! She told me it wasn't too bad, and if I relaxed my shoulders it would help. O-kay. I got into the waiting room and didn't even see the little changing rooms and went straight to the lavatory to change into the hospital gown. But I was used to gowns being wrong side around and went out to get help to snap it up in the back. A very nice woman in the waiting room told me the snaps go in the front for mammogram exams. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I put my sweater on over the gown...it was something like -20 this morning...and waited my turn. I put my coat and tops in one of the lockers. I filled out the forms. Then, after the woman who'd turned on the TV left I turned it off and looked around. Lots of signage about where the gowns were and disclaimers about waiting times and payment plans, and the hospital not being responsible for lost or stolen items. But nothing about the changing rooms being changing rooms, how to put on the gowns, or what to do if you've never had a mammogram before. Oh, yeah, and this is the part I really hated: the cabinet that the mammogram exam gowns were kept was pink (nothing else in room was pink, and it didn't really "go" with the rest of the decor) and the cabinet was way too high on the wall for someone using a wheelchair. Actually, now that I think of it the changing rooms and lockers weren't remotely accessible to someone using a wheelchair, either. Does the hospital have separate accomodations? I'm going to call them and find out. It seems like an egregous oversight. I don't use a wheelchair, I just have a very strong belief in universal design. Anyway, even though it was clear the hospital had gone to some trouble to design this waiting room, they hadn't gone to nearly enough trouble.

Then I got the examination. The technician was a short white woman in her 50's or early 60's in a colorful hospital smock-jacket. She was friendly and warm and asked if I'd ever had a mammogram before. Since I hadn't she told me she'd tell what was happening every step of the way. She got me positioned into the x-ray machine, right and then left, and then left and right, four pictures in all. I was amazed how well she handled my breasts without feeling like she was handling my...breasts. It didn't feel like a loaded situation, it felt like she was positioning any other non-sexual part of my body. I'm guessing this must take practice, but it seemed to be normal for her, and she was completely comfortable in this very awkward situation. Thank goodness, because if she hadn't been comfortable it would have been just awful, because I was certainly not feeling super confident and at ease. So hats off to her for doing her job well! It took maybe twenty minutes. Amazing and normal and odd and uncomfortable and ok.

Dr. Love back from the heart of space

The shuttle Atlantis toucheddown safely at Kennedy Space Center in Florida on Wednesday morning at 9:07am. Whoo. So happy and honestly, relieved. Anything could have happened, but fortunately for everyone involved only the planned and predicted events took place.

My cousin-in-law, Dr. Stan Love, was one of the mission specialists who just re-entered the known world. I watched the events unfold in real time on the SpaceflightNow site via text (I didn't have a subscription for the live video feed, silly me).

Then I was all in a dither about sending flowers to Stan to welcome him back. First I went to a internet florist sight, and had almost completed the transaction when I realized I wasn't sure how long Stan would be in Florida, or if I even had the right address. So I quit that and decided to send them to his home address in Houston, and went downtown to pick out an arrangement from a local florist. But when I started to fill out the address information I realized I didn't know when there would be somebody home to get the flowers, as I realized my cousin, Jancy, and their kids would probably all be in Florida. Ahhhggg!

I went home and called my Dad. Although he didn't have a ready answer for me, while I was on the phone with him I realized I had a contact phone number from the launch invitation. I decided to try that number and see where it took me. A lovely woman answered the call and was able to direct me to a local florist in Houston (although at first I thought I was talking with someone in Florida!!!) who would deliver the flowers in a timely fashion. The woman said Stan would be back in Houston either Thursday or Friday, and the flowers would definetly get delivered to him whichever day he got back.

So I called the florist, who was as nice as could be, and helped me figure out what kind of an arrangement to order. In the end he assured me it would be a nice MASCULINE bouquet. I let that hard to fathom idea remain a mystery and thanked him for his thoughtfulness, signing the card "Welcome Home Stan - From Your Proud Cousin-In-Law, Eva".


P.S. Here's an autograph I received from Stan recently. In case you can't read it, he's saying how nice it was I sent the flowers...so sweet.

Snow, Love and Posting Update

Thing A Day has totally inspired me. I have a friend in New York City (one of my oldest friends because her mother and my mother met when they were in undergraduate school together) who is also an artist and she's participating in the thing-a-day thingy linked above. I just talked with her last night and was noting how I haven't been posting very much the last few weeks, partly because I feel like very very few people come to the site, and even fewer post comments. It's kind of discouraging, but after going to thing-a-day I feel a lot better and I'm ready to post my heart out once again!



Above is a photograph I just took of my back porch (the chair is for scale) to illustrate how much snow we've got around here. Too crazy. I've reached my AAA limit in free service calls (until August or something) so now it's $45 everytime I need to get dug out of my own parking space. Really frustrating and I'm counting the days until I can park with impunity again. Or, I should say, get out of my parking space with impunity.

Meanwhile, Valentine's Day came and went, without any genuine activity here in Eva's Icons land. But wait, I have to show you this "dark" valentine I got as a consolation prize (from a friend, Rachel Rice, who makes art that's dispensed from an old cigarette machine now known as the GLAD-iator).







Nice, eh?

Oh, I almost forgot. Dr. Love did have a space walk (read all about it here), but not on Feb. 14th. Everything, it appears, is subject to rescheduling when it comes to outer space.

Dr. Love scheduled for space walk Feb. 14th

It's true! This web site Spaceflight Now has the whole space shuttle Atlantis story including Dr. Stan Love's planned space walk (with another mission specialist, of course) on February 14th. Stan is my cousin-in-law. Stan Love is married to my one and only first cousin, Jancy McPhee. Jancy also works for NASA, but she's trained as a microbiologist, and is not an astronaut. Anyway, they are both awesome.

I was so excited on Thursday when I heard the news (that the shuttle had successfully launched into space) on the radio, I went out to the formery and told all my co-workers (I was in the back putting labels on bread bags when I heard the news on NPR). During my break I looked up the mission update and saw the (not-a-joke-at-all) post about Stan's schedule on Feb. 14th. Over the next hour I told whoever wasn't in the formery at the time what the big news of the day was: Stan Love's in outer space, and guess when his space walk is scheduled?! Nearly everyone guessed correctly. SO CORNY! I LOVE IT!

Guerrilla Girls homage

Here's a couple of political cartoons I've done with a friend. My friend's the idea person, and I get paid for illustrating them. Pretty cool, eh? We're both still developing the ideas and style of the cartoon, including the title and characters. But the one thing that's a given is the theme: economics.