moderately spicy

 
untitled drawing from 2003-2005 

Mild to Extra-Spicy

is the name of the exhibit I'll be having at the Fort Can Gallery, in Montpelier during the month of September. (If you go to the Fort Can site there won't be anything about my show yet, as we just pinned down the details yesterday, but you will get to see what's at the gallery now, as well as their philosophical take on art.)

I am inviting folks to visit the gallery, potentially have their portrait drawn, look at artwork I'm working on, and check out the letterhead press/book bindery, May Day Studio, that shares space with the gallery. Fort Can and May Day Studio are located at 190 River St. Montpelier, between The Restore and Trading Post Furniture.

Gallery hours are Saturdays, 10am-2pm and by appointment.

If folks are in the Montpelier area (and we haven't already made an appointment) and are interested in a fifteen minute to hour long portrait (and visiting an interesting gallery) let me know. I'll put you on the schedule. Otherwise, do stop by during gallery hours - I'd love to show y'all around.

P.S. See below for an example of "spicy".

I recently bought a book titled "Put What, Where?, Over 2000 Years of Bizarre Sex Advice" authored and annotated by John Nash, from the remainders bin of my local bookstore. I almost regretted buying it, but then realized I could make use of it as background for some spicy drawings.

 

more portraits!

These are three friends who lived in my town about ten years ago.






I'll be posting more portraits soon.

portrait gallery

I just scanned a bunch of portraits.


 
This is a sketch of faculty member Corrine Mattuck, probably in 1984.


I used caran d'ache crayons a lot in school - still love them. This is of a guy named Jon who was only around for a semester or two. All I can remember about him is he liked to drive his little red sports car really fast.
 

Minimalism was a happy result of hours and hours of gesture drawing during life drawing classes. This is of a fellow student, Karen Andress, who was taking her turn upon the occasional neccesity of standing in for a no-show model. 


I love the kinetic energy in this one. Gina, 1985


I wasn't even 18 yet! Ah, if I could go back and give myself a hug I would. Self portrait Nov. 20, 1983.


Lee Henry. So pretty.


I'll post more soon. This is fun.

guard dog

I found this doggie bobble head outside my apartment on Friday morning. The storm drains overflowed and this is one of the items that washed up. I immediately thought of Tara (one of the artists at Fort Can) and decided to bring doggie with me to the reception on Saturday. Doggie found a home in Tara's studio that very night. Above is documentation of said homecoming. At the studio entrance there was some conversation about what duties doggie would perform. Guard dog seemed apt.

on waking up

The sound of cars passing by on Rte 12, with the front porch and a couple yards of lawn between the road and my bedroom window, is more gentle than an alarm clock, even adding on the doot-doot-doot backing-up sounds the construction trucks make just on the other side of the house.

I hear these sounds and even before I open my eyes I can guess what time it is. If I'm still half asleep I can guess what day of the week it is, too, by the absense or presense of the construction truck doot doot doot. If the cars are passing three or four or more in a row on either side of the two-lane roadway, then I know it's probably 7:30 or 8am, and the morning commute is commencing in earnest. 

Meanwhile, I'm deciding whether the dream I just had is worth remembering and writing down. Sometimes I have to write it down quickly before the whole thing fades. Other times they are so vivid I can remember them through the day and can still recall them before I go to sleep that night. Either way I have to decide, and once I do then I have to either write the thing down or get up and go about my day. No in-between there.

Occasionally I'll get a nice surprise, dreamwise. Recently I had a dream that someone I knew, only a little in college and not at all now, kissed me. I don't know why he kissed me. I don't know what was going on before that kiss, or afterwards. But those moments of intimacy, and it's palpable tenderness, linger on. 

So the gentle surf-like sound of cars passing on the road is a better backdrop for remembering such moments than the sudden sound of just about anything a foot away from my ear, as you may be able to imagine. No alarm clocks here.

 

25th high school reunion coming up

Above is my yearbook picture, circa 1983 (actually, it was taken in the summer of '82...but who am I to quibble?).


And this one's from (I think) winter 1983, mid-way through my senior year.

I've been getting notices regarding my high school reunion. It's pretty unreal that it's been 25 years since I graduated from high school. Equally unreal that it's been 21 years since I graduated from college, but that's probably for another post. 

I didn't like high school, although it was an improvement over middle school. I didn't have many friends among the kids I spent most of the school day with. I was one of the few people in the school who came from someplace else, and one of the few people who immediately left to start a new life as soon as I graduated. People didn't know what to make of me - for which I can't blame them - as I didn't know what to make of me either. I'm still working on that one, actually.

I went to my 10th year reunion. Um, it was interesting, but not something I want to repeat. I will not be going to my 25th, although the pictures I saw posted on the web site for the 20th reunion made me feel tenderly towards those who did attend. They looked so vulnerable. Much more so than I ever saw evidence of in high school. Seeing those pictures made me think there might still, yet, be some friends to make there. But I don't think I'm gonna go.

I posted the two pictures above, plus the two b&w photos here on the home page of the blog, on the "classmates" web site. Very few people from the class of 1983 are posting photos, or information about their lives, or anything else. It could be because the sight only offers these options for a fee. The site managers are hoping I'll forget before the end of the week that I've got a 7 day free trial, but forget it y'all, I've got a reminder right here on my calendar. Classmates dot com is not getting any money from me, no sir.

One thing I'm kind of pleased to realize - I was a lot cuter than I knew at the time. I mean, I was cute (actually, I'm still cute) but didn't really see it.

I'm so grateful for photography, especially family photos. I was talking with my dad last night about the family photographs my grandmother has. She is a meticulous housekeeper and the photographs are in very good shape, although a lot of them from my late grandfather's side of the family are undocumented. But I don't care about that. I started to tell my dad how much I value these photographs and he interrupted to tell me I could have them (when the time came). I was surprised he understood what I meant so well, and cut right through whatever else I was going to say. Anyway, my grandma is very excitable and the last thing I would want is to mention the photographs and her passing on in the same sentence, so I have to give my dad a lot of credit for saving us all from that. So - thanks, Dad.



Here's his high school graduation photo, circa 1960.

wild strawberries

These wild strawberries are just outside my back porch. I am blessed.

grass seed, maps, small towns & big cities

The weather's been pretty sweet. I mean, cool (under 70 most days) and dry (probably too dry).
Today it's raining, which is excellent.

Yesterday I, with help from a friend, moved a bunch of gravel from just beyond my porch into the driveway, so I can have a little piece of earth to wiggle my toes in (on?). Today I bought some grass seed (mostly rye and clover) and spread it over the patch of earth, and then occasionally went out and watched, with great pleasure, the rain soak down on the grass seed. Soon there'll be green shoots sprouting and my toes are wiggling in anticipation.

Earlier today I spent a couple hours mapping my family and childhood homes, schools and places of birth in Philadelphia. I called my Dad to get specifics on addresses. I was only off by one number on the house I spent my first 8 years in (11764 Brandon Rd). I thought it was 11762. My dad said that would have been the Taylor's house...which I would not want, because they had this german shepard named Major who snarled ferociously if anyone got near their front door, which was right next to ours.

I also found out, by asking the name and address of the hospital I was born in, that my older brother and I (we have the same parents), and my three younger half-siblings (same dad, different mom) were all born in the same hospital (Albert Einstein) and delivered by the same doctor. The doctor delivered my older brother in 1964 and my younger half-brother in 1984. Apparently he, the doctor, was the youngest partner in the family practice he belonged to. Go figure. 

I think of Philadelphia as a large city (it is), but relationship-wise it feels like a small town. All five of us siblings being delivered by the same doctor feels so small town-ish. But maybe it's not as unusual as I think?

Don't know, but it's one of the many questions I ask myself as I pour over the map of my home town (which is really a big city).


 

Lynda Barry's "What It Is" available in bookstores NOW!

Hey! Go out and get your copy of What It Is by Lynda Barry, either through your local independent bookseller or via Drawn & Quarterly, Lynda's current (and awesome) publisher.

I've got mine and I'm very very glad.   

It's a combination of autobiographical picture story telling and writing exercises. But this description is an insult to the art of this book.

Go! But It! Now! (Ok, or beg your local library to get a copy as soon as possible (now?))

And now I really have to get outdoors.

Enjoy the day.

 

the skinny on cholesterol

Oh yeah, I said I was going to post on the test results for cholesterol and vitamin D, didn't I?

Strangely, although I gave up some purported cholesterol producing foodstuffs and started eating more purported cholesterol reducing foodstuffs, my overall cholesterol went up between Jan. and April by a sizable chunk. Especially the "bad" kind (LDL). Ftischhhh.

My vitamin D, however, is up in the normal range. Yay!

The result? I'm less likely to be depressed about my health being endangered by the plaque building up in my arteries. Ha, ha, ha.

Seriously, though, I'm gonna try taking Omega-3 fatty acids as a supplement, and see if that helps. But, the thing is, until April my cholesterol has been pretty much the same for the past four or five years. So my feeling is the stress of worrying over the health of my arteries has created more damage than anything else I might be doing. So I've decided to put thoughts of cholesterol back where they belong: in the world of the bean counters.

I'll go outside and "walk briskly", (although I prefer strolling) for half an hour. A half hour is the recommended time frame for this excellent {although frankly silly looking} low maintenance high benefit exercize. Or maybe bicycle down to the co-op or up to the Peace Park (east and west stretches of the bike path, respectively).   

And I'm gonna find another doctor. Somebody who knows how to read their own forms (and send test results to the correct address), tells patients all the tests being performed for them and why, and can remember in a timely manner to give cogent recommendations on the type and amounts of efficatious supplements.

Seems reasonable, I think.

See you later - time to get outside.

signs

line dried candy colored clothing!



my bike - equipped with air in the tires and a new lock.



snow retreating from the back yard...it IS all gone now...this pic was taken a few weeks ago

absorbing and creating

Inspired by the recent American Photobooth book, I'm posting photobooth generated photographs of my Aunt Rose, who was 7 years older than my Mom (who has her own section here), Grandmom Bea & Grandpop Marty. Photos date from early 1930's (when my grandparents first met - when they were in their mid 20's - to the late 1950's - when my mom was a teenager).

short visit to say hi and some recommendations

Hey-ho (as Kermit the Frog would say),

I've been mulling over this and that the last few weeks, plus I still have a cold, which was really hellacious at first, ten days ago, and now just irritating. I tried breaking up with it earlier today (imagine me yelling at it: "It's OVER! Get out of my body, NOW, and take all your snot rags with you!", kicking the waste paper basket across the room for emphasis). We'll see if that has the desired affect.

Meanwhile, I've been visiting some more web sites.

Here's a few I particularly like:

TED: Ideas Worth Spreading

Bizarroblog

Byron Katie's "The Work"

Have fun with these. I'll be back after I change the locks (if I can ever get this darn cold to leave the house).

Full On Spring

It's for real - no turning back; Spring's Here.

West and east views over the Winooski River, respectively.

And a pot of brown rice, because I like the pattern it makes when it's cooked.

Curiosity is keeping this cat alive

I called the doctor's office to find out what would happen to my blood once it was drawn (see previous post on tests below), and how much it would cost.

My blood will be tested for vitamin D levels, and for cholesteral (the good and the bad kinds). It will cost $76.88. $25 for drawing the blood, $51.88 for the lab work.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Tests I didn't know I was taking and other health related costs

So I got my statement from BlueCross BlueShield this morning. Turns out the information I posted recently about the cost of a mammogram is more than twice as high at $312 than the higher end of $150.

Insurance only covers $249.23 of it, but unlike other statements I've received recently the difference is not passed on to me. I guess the radiologist and my doctor eat the difference. Or maybe the $249.23 is how much it really costs and the $312 is what they ask for just in case the insurance company is feeling generous???

Meanwhile, I got a bill from my doctor's office for $14.27, for the lab work on a pregnancy test. (Clearing my throat) I didn't ask for or need a pregnancy test, and this is what I told the doctor, after speaking with the receptionist, who told me to call the insurance company to find out why this wasn't covered with all the other lab work, and the insurance company told me to call the doctor to discuss the (apparent) need for the test by the doctor. Following me so far?

I got a physical examination in January from the nurse practitioner. She included the pregnancy test with all the other lab work, but didn't mention it at the time of the examination.

So I was really surprised when it came up on the bill. I was just lucky when the doctor answered the phone the second time I called the office, after speaking with the insurance company. He said he didn't know why it had been included, and said he could do one of two things; speak with the nurse practitioner about it's inclusion or take the $14.27 off my bill. I said it would be great if he could do both, and he said he would.

Hopefully, case closed. Although I have more lab work scheduled for later this month, with this doctor's office. They want to find out if the vitamin D3 I'm taking is showing up in my blood. Apparently when they tested for this in January my D levels were at 9 (parts per million?). "Normal" is 25-50, so I guess I needed some assistance in the vitamin D department. I've been taking 2000 iu (international units) of Vit. D3 every day since mid January, and made an appointment back then for mid April to find out how things were going.

Now I'm going to call the doctor's office and find out if there's anything else they're going to test for while they're drawing blood. Just, you know, out of curiosity.

Crazy

Last Saturday evening I went to a production (one woman play) called "Crazy" by Gail Marlene Schwartz up at the Vermont College Chapel. Third Story Window is the name of Gail's community based art/performance company. Very Cool. VSA Arts of Vermont was the producer for the 5 performances in Vermont, the one in Montpelier being the last of them.

I'm so glad I went! Gail's story, which is autobiographical, centers on her experience of the 18 therapists she's seen since she was 5 1/2 years old. It's a great story and afterwards there was a panel discussion with local providers, consumers, advocates and some combination of all three and the audience, and Gail, the actor/writer. It was a great experience, and instead of re-writing all about it I'm going to re-print the evaluation/testimonial here.

Initially I scribbled some notes to myself and wasn't sure if I was going to send Gail or the producers my feedback, but after a couple of encouraging e-mails from Gail I decided to go ahead.

Although I've never been diagnosed as "clinically" one thing or another I've never felt "normal" either. Not coincidentally this was also my mother's approach to being pinned down mental-health wise, in large part because once one is diagnosed it is on one's permanent health record...or something like that.

So seeing someone explore their life-long relationship with the therapeutic process with humor and panashe and so fearlessly, despite interruptions indicating the contrary (see answer #2 below), well, it was just great! At some point I will post a response to the questions of Jewish and Crazy that Gail posted about recently. In the meantime, I think this is plenty to read about right here.


1. If you were telling a friend what you appreciated about this presentation (show), what would you say?

I liked the story, the method of story telling (not linear!) and detail choices, the set, props and three dimensionality of the stage (riding bike onto stage, using props handed up and thrown back from front row, etc) and the intelligence and wit.

2.What moment/s stood out for you and why?

The "interruptions" of neurotic cleaning during particularly tense or tender moments of the performance, the video of the actor's younger self riding her bicycle near the end of the performance, and the stills of the actor's recent self crying. The cleaning interruptions were so funny and real. The actor used the bike with the banana seat through the whole performance, and spoke beautifully about her experience of learning to ride her bike. As an audience member, when I got to see real footage of her riding her bike, I found it quite moving and saw it as a statement about the actor's resiliency and innate sturdiness in the face of 18 versions of interpreting her "craziness". I was very surprised by the stills of the actor crying, as this is, usually, as emotionally vulnerable as a person can get. I appreciated the actor's inclusion of these stills, but didn't fully appreciate their value until I read the materials afterward and discovered the actor had been photographing herself in high states of emotion to include in future performance pieces.

3. What did not work/what would you change about the presentation and why?

The "Rorschach" test images were invisible from where I was sitting. I felt I was being shown a blank (or almost blank) screen and being asked to interpret nothing; that it was a joke, which was frustrating. At the end of the performance I saw that the images were shown in their original size and shape and were actually out of focus close ups of objects, and the actor's face. I wish the test images were just a little less out of focus, maybe because Rorschach test images are so graphically stark.

4. Were your views about mental health/illness impacted by the presentation? How?

Yes. I felt a surge of positive associations with being on the "crazy" end of the mental health continuum. That is, I identified with the intelligence, wit and vulnerability portrayed by the actor. I'm not crazy about being considered "crazy", but this performance displaced a chunk of the shame associated with it, and I also felt less isolated. Thanks.

5. Would you recommend this program for other communities? Why or why not?

Yes! What's not to like??? Seriously, because it takes issues that might be seen as "mental health" issues and turns them into human issues, which is something everyone can benefit from.

6. Any other comments?

Thanks to the actor for baring her soul, and VSA Vermont for producing the performance, and the Vermont Community Foundation for funding the project! This is important work and should certainly be supported in the future.

7. May we use your comments in future projects?

Yes.

bright cold SPRING!

Look what I got!!! A thank-you post card from Lynda!Barry! I sent her a postcard a few weeks ago telling her how much I love her work and how much I'm looking forward to her next book coming out - scroll down to The Gorgon and feast your eyes. So!Utterly!Cool!



Hey, yeah!

Even the snow seems to know it's spring; when it does snow it's not as deep, thick or persistant as it was a even two weeks ago.

The sun is super bright, although it's been very windy the last few days, but never mind, in another little while I'll be writing about crocuses and robins and then peepers and dragonflies. Just you wait and see.

still almost spring, but closer

I visited with my friend Amy this afternoon. She's also an artist and we were both drawing while we sipped tea and visited with another friend of Amy's who was new to me. I'm pleased with this drawing. First, because Amy's beauty comes across, although she's a lot more interesting looking in person. Also, with a minimum of effort I got a good resemblance, although I really wanted to capture more of her animation than her repose. This was the fourth or fifth page of drawing I worked on in the couple hours we spent together, so the effortlessness took some effort to get to, but so what? Once again I got to see that the effort to get to that effortless looking place is completely worth it.

P.S. New profile and sidebar photographs courtesy Andrew Kline of After Image Photography